Many years ago, when I was new to Community of Christ, I was attending Discipleship Now, a two-year program devoted to everything a disciple might need to know.
The instructor that weekend was a well-known member of the leadership of the World Church, whom I had not met before. As the class continued we were asked to raise our hand if we had thoughts to share. At the time I was not comfortable with silence, and when a question was asked and no one responded for what seemed a long time I would raise my hand to offer my thoughts. I had spoken a few times that morning, and once again I had my hand in the air, as no one had offered to speak, when the instructor turned to me and said “it is not all about you Lavera”. I was flabbergasted and did not know what to say. I do not think I said much the rest of that weekend.
Years passed and every now and then I would think of that incident, not because I held a grudge, but with curiosity, what was the lesson in that incident. I was beginning to think maybe I talked too much and would learn more if I learned to listen more. I was recently attending a class that was preceded with the instruction. Please do not ask to speak a second time until everyone has shared.
Another year and another class and this thought was shared.
When we have become indifferent to our need to be seen in the eyes of others as wise, then we are ready to receive wisdom from God.
Another year passed and I was in a women’s meeting and we were sharing about people who had played a significant role in our faith journey. A woman spoke who shared about her grandparent, but she went on to say if she was to name a second she would name the minister who spoke at reunion many years ago, who at the end of his sermon he said “Remember, it is not all about you” I burst out laughing. The next morning, I opened my morning meditation and the message read “It is God and I working together, that brings me to a place where I can serve as a faithful disciple.”
I am not sure I will ever get over thinking events somehow are about me. I have learned to listen more then I share, I am always working on keeping my ego out of the conversation. Most of all I am grateful to a loving God who continues to teach me how to be a faithful disciple.