When
you stand at a crossroads in life, knowing that a step in any direction will
lead down paths not previously travel, it can be scary. Two years ago I found myself at such a
crossroads. I made the decision to ask
for a leave of absence from church employment and go back to school to study
urban planning. It wasn’t a decision that I came to quickly, but one that I
discerned over a number of months.
It was terrifying because all I had
ever really wanted to do was to work for the church. Going back to school was the first step in a
journey that led me down a path that led away from my life long desire to work
for the church. It may seem weird that I
wanted to step away from the thing that I had desired most of my life. Life decisions aren’t always rational,
because they are made with the heart and the head, but I knew that even if I
stayed in my role with the church, life would not be the same.
The past two years I have met people
that have made my life fuller, richer, and better. I can’t imagine life without them just as I
can’t imagine life without the people whom I am so richly blessed because of my
connection in the church. The God that
traveled with me as I traveled across large chunks of the Western United States
for the church also traveled with me into graduate school and into a new
profession.
We are each in charge of our own happiness. There are a lot of voices in our world that
attempt to articulate what will make us happy.
I think that is really only a question that can be answered when you
examine your life and figure out what points towards more joy, more love, not
just for you, but for your community as well.
I found happiness working for a group that
develops affordable housing for vulnerable populations across the state of
Washington. That doesn’t mean that each
day I leave work with a smile on my face, but I do know the work that I do
points towards a better world and brings me fulfillment. It is also work that is consistent with my
priesthood calling to the office of Bishop to be a minister of economic justice
for the marginalized in our communities.
There are no easy answers when you
find yourself at a crossroads. Sometimes
when we want so desperately for God to tell us which way to go it can seem like
God is silent. Perhaps God is waiting
for us to take a step so God can walk with us.
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